


Falling in Love on a Rooftop

by mukemas



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Bullying, Depression, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Panic Attacks, Suicide Attempt, Trigger Warnings, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 04:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5115335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mukemas/pseuds/mukemas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt had always been a troubled kid - dealing not only with the pressures of his own mental illnesses, but also with the harshness of a persistent bully at school - until a dashing new student named Thomas made his way into Newt’s life, and eventually he started to save it.</p><p>(or the ridiculously depressing newtmas high school au)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! Just a couple of things before you start reading - first of all, this fic contains massive amounts of triggering things, so please read all the trigger warnings tagged so you can be safe! Also, I need to give a few shoutouts to people who helped me in this process. Thank you so so so much to Lia (aka ohmoriartea on tumblr) for beta-ing this entire fic!! Thank you loads to Danika (aka fuckitimprussia on tumblr) for creating the beautiful fanmix/photoset for this fic!! And a thank you to Lucy (aka pointlesslucy on tumblr) for helping me come up with ideas for this fic and getting me over my writer's block!! Sorry for the rambling, I hope you enjoy the fic :)))

[(see the photoset for this fic here)](http://fuckitimprussia.tumblr.com/post/132283072598/newt-had-always-been-a-troubled-kid-dealing-not)

[(listen to the playlist for this fic here)](http://8tracks.com/danika22/falling-in-love-on-a-rooftop)

* * *

 

_6:00 AM_

 

The shrill, monotonous sound of Newt’s alarm clock rang through his bedroom. Some uneasy mixture of annoyance and dread radiated through his tired mind at the sudden awakening; he was never happy to hear that noise. With an ache in his neck from an odd position of sleep, Newt reached across his sheets to the bedside table, shutting the clock off as his fingers brushed the large button on its roof. Newt deeply considered burying himself back under his sheets and not coming out for about six more hours, though this exact consideration passed his mind every morning, and he almost always pushed it away. Staying home wouldn’t solve anything; he knew nothing good ever came from feeling sorry for himself (though it was still an activity he couldn’t help but to partake in often).

By the time Newt had finally dragged himself out of bed and made his way to the bathroom with a change of clothes, a thought struck him. He remembered one of his teachers briefly announcing that a new student would be attending Newt’s school starting today. His stomach sank. To anyone else, a new student wouldn’t mean much, it might even be a good thing; a chance to make a new friend. But to Newt, a new student meant one more kid to call him crude things and shove him around like a rag doll. The school had gained plenty of new students throughout the two and a half years he had been there, but not one of them had ever been nice to Newt. Not one of them had ever tried to be friends with Newt - he couldn’t imagine why they would want to, anyway - and he feared more than anything that this kid would be the same story. Sure, Newt did have a couple of friendly acquaintances, but Minho was in Japan on an exchange program trip for the rest of the year, and Alby’s schedule clashed dramatically with his own, resulting in no classes together. He never quite completely fit in with them anyway, what with both of them on the track team whilst he sat in the library reading for fun, but they were kind of all he had.

A sigh passed Newt’s lips at the thought of going to school. The idea of the inevitability of a possible new antagonist in Newt’s life made him want to vomit. He turned the knob on the shower as hot as it would go.

Once stripping himself of his sleep-worn sweatpants, Newt slid into the stream of water. He had hoped doing so would help, but as the scorching droplets pelted his pale skin, anxiety riddled his mind. It became increasingly hard for Newt to breathe, and he could hear his pulse behind his ears. He soon realised the water was drowning him more than relieving him. He fumbled to turn it off.

“Can’t even take a bloody shower without losing it, what the hell is wrong with me today?” Newt mumbled to himself as he yanked a towel from behind the door, messily drying his damp curls. He tied the towel around his waist, the scratchy material causing ignored discomfort.

Newt looked in the mirror. He stared at himself, almost studying his appearance. He watched a single orb of lingering water drip from the end of his hair and trickle over his skin, confining itself in the crook of his collarbone, which jut out at all the wrong angles. He hated it. He observed the slight awkward lean to his stance, the evidence of his limp reminding him of his weaknesses. He hated it. He searched desperately for any sign of reassurance in the reflection of his own dim eyes, though all he found was the same tiredness as always. He hated it. He kept staring so intently at the boy peering back at him through the mirror. He kept hating it. He kept hating _himself_. So he did all he could do then; he looked away.

He turned around and dropped the wet towel, quickly dressing himself to make up for the time he had wasted casually wallowing in self hatred. Once his simple skinny jeans and an old off-white hoodie had been thrown on, he exited the bathroom. As he stepped back into his bedroom, the lack of the thick steam sent a chill through his lungs; he coughed to rid himself of it.

The clock on Newt’s bedside table read 6:45 AM. He grabbed a few textbooks, shoved them in his worn out backpack, and slumped down the stairs. He expected to find nothing out of the ordinary downstairs, just the dimly lit kitchen as it sat every morning. Something did catch his eye, though. Nothing big, he discovered, picking up the unusual piece of paper resting on the counter. It was a simple note from Newt’s mother stating that his sister was staying home from school today due to an illness, so his mom was staying home with her and they’d both gone back to bed. He almost felt bad for envying them. He could use an excuse to get out of school today. Or any day, really.

After making a quick piece of toast and lacing up his sneakers, Newt walked out the door at 7:00 AM on the dot, dreadfully making his way to school. Of course, he could always catch the bus, but he seriously preferred walking; it was only about a fifteen minute walk, and he figured it was ideal to postpone the harassment until absolutely necessary.

It was a fine morning, the sun was strung just barely above the horizon and Newt could smell autumn in the wind. He faulted once during his walk to debate staying home again. In 20 short minutes, he gloomily arrived at the front steps of The Glade Union High School. He took a shaky breath and unhappily managed to pull himself up the stairs and through the door. The aroma of fall was immediately replaced with that of body odor and failure. Newt walked to his locker and kept his head down. He didn’t lift it until he had settled into a desk in the back corner of the history classroom - his first class.

History was relatively easy to get through. The black haired girl who always sat next to him was quite nice - Teresa, he thought her name was - and the teacher never made him speak in front of the class. Plus, all he had was study hall right after it, so he could go to the library for about an hour before biology. It was the first period of the day, so it was a bit of quiet time before he encountered the real trouble.

Newt sat silently in the back of the history room for an hour, not exactly paying attention but not neglecting the teacher’s words completely. He didn’t need to tune all the way in, anyway; he had already finished the book they were discussing. The block of time passed very quickly under Newt’s radar, and soon the bell sounded the beginning of study hall. He sluggishly gathered his unused things and returned to his locker, shutting it as most people left to go to class.

Newt heard him before he saw him. Gally.

“Hey, there’s my favourite faggot!” The gravelly voice of Newt’s main source of unhappiness rang through the empty hallway. Gally always waited until no one was around except himself and a few other jocks to torment Newt.

“Go away, Gally.” Newt tried, but the words sounded hopelessly pathetic, even to himself. He swallowed the fear rising in his throat.

“In your dreams, pretty boy.” The low chuckle that escaped from Gally was the same chilling one that almost always accompanied the uncomfortable nickname he’d given Newt. The blond’s silent prayers for Gally not to come any closer were diminished when he came to feel the bully’s hot breath on the back of his neck.

“What do you w-want?” Newt cursed the uncontrollable wobble of anxiety in his voice as Gally and his friends erupted into laughter. When he felt Gally’s unnaturally firm grip on his shoulder, Newt knew he was doomed. Proving his ill fate correct, not five seconds after, the same shoulder was smashed into the lockers with an overpowering force as Gally used his superior strength to shove Newt into the metal behind him. The action forced him to finally - yet unwillingly - come face to face with Gally. Dismay struck his chest as his eyes met Gally’s cold ones.

“What do I want? To remind you how worthless you are.” Gally’s snarl dripped from his harmful lips and seared into Newt’s frightened mind. “To tell you that I wish you’d succeeded last year.” The second the words hit his ears, Newt’s stomach dropped with the memories of his suicide attempt the previous year. “I was so hopeful when you were out of school for that week, because believe me, I could go forever without having to see your ugly face again, but you just had to come back from the hospital.” Gally’s hold on now both of Newt’s shoulders tightened, and Newt could already feel small bruises forming where Gally’s fingertips pressed him into place. “Why did you come back?”

“I- I don’t know.”

At times like this, Newt really _didn’t_ know. He often wished he hadn’t.

“Why not try again?” Gally smirked revoltingly. A chorus of mumbles erupted from his friends. A few disapproving, though most agreeing. “Try again, pretty boy. Why don’t you jump again?” Newt’s upper body was lifted from the lockers only long enough for him to be slammed back into them, the back of his head searing with a sudden pain. “Jump again, freak. And this time do it right.”

Newt could already tell he’d hear the voice urging him later. He felt panic bubbling in his lungs and the will to push it away grew weaker as Gally’s friends chanted mockingly.

“Jump again! Jump again! Jump again! Jump a-”

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?” An unexpected voice cut through the small crowd of Gally and his friends - a new voice. Newt didn’t recognize it. For a moment he thought he’d imagined it, until the taunting ceased and Gally turned his head angrily in the assumed direction of the stranger.

“ _Excuse me?_ ” Gally spoke intimidatingly, his hold on Newt loosening to fistfuls of the hoodie, though still anchoring Newt to the wall of lockers.

“What’s your problem, man? Leave him alone!” The voice had a face now as it - he - walked into Newt’s view. The boy had short, chocolate brown hair that was trimmed above his ears, though fittingly unkempt slightly in the front. His speckled amber eyes flickered repeatedly from Gally to Newt, a worried (and slightly pissed off) look suspended in them. He had broader shoulders than Newt, though was much smaller in figure and height than Gally. A worn out, long sleeved shirt hugged his stomach, the dirty blue of it accenting the golden hue of his irises well. Black jeans hung from his waist, blending with the black sneakers resting beneath their skinny hem. Freckles haphazardly dotted his pigmented skin. His dark eyebrows were knit together - seemingly half in confusion, half in displeasure. If the situation had differed, and Newt hadn’t been so focused on remembering how to breathe, he most likely would have admired the boy’s beauty.

“And what if I don’t?” Gally appeared on the outside to be enjoying this new encounter, but the sudden increase in aggression on Newt’s front told otherwise.

“Then it just makes you more of a douche. What benefit are you getting from being an asshole to him?” The presently nameless boy strode quickly to the scene and made a successful effort to tear Gally’s hands from Newt, and it was evident that Gally didn’t like that at all. Newt, however, couldn’t have been more physically thankful to get the added pressure off his chest, for it wasn’t helping the feeling that his entire body was concaving upon itself.

“I wouldn’t say that if I were you.” Gally warned, stepping minisculely away from Newt, his upper body turning to face the unknown boy, feet following a few seconds later.

“Why not?” The brunet challenged, and Newt noticed a vein that stuck out from his neck when his voice raised.

None of the teenagers expected Gally to snap as quickly as he did. Not five seconds had passed since the last word rolled off the stranger’s tongue, and Gally had already wound up and swung at him. Before anyone had time to react, blood was dripping slowly from the blue shirted boy’s lip and Gally was swearing under his breath.

“That’s why.” A final grumbled remark from Gally. He spun on his heel and began walking, his friends following, in the opposite direction of Newt and the new kid who was clutching his mouth.

Newt should have felt relieved, he should have felt compelled enough to have thanked the boy then and there, he should have felt compassion for his savior, but Newt never felt the right things at the right times. Instead, Newt felt like he was going to vomit, like his lungs had collapsed and he was only able to breathe Gally’s sticky breath that he could still feel spitting harsh words in his face, like his throat would cut itself open if he tried to speak a single word or even take a breath. Before he could comprehend his own actions, Newt was running. His feet hit the tile with loud taps that echoed hauntingly off the empty hallway walls. He ignored the boy calling after him to stop. His legs carried him to the bathroom, where he leaned over a sink and tried to recall the last time he had taken in a full breath of air.

It didn’t take long for the dark haired boy to turn the corner into the bathroom at a worried pace. Peripherally, Newt saw the boy spot him and rush forward. He was seemingly ignoring the red liquid beginning to clot in the split in his lip, focusing all his attention onto Newt instead.

“Are you okay? What happened? What’s wrong?” His multiple questions almost overwhelmed Newt, until he realized a single answer could somewhat address all of them, if he could only get himself to talk properly.

“I- I c-can’t- can’t br- breathe-” Newt managed to stutter out in between desperate gasps. The boy standing opposite him seemed then to understand that Newt was having a panic attack. He peeled the closest of Newt’s hands from the edge of the sink and placed it delicately on his own chest, fingertips covering Newt’s. The blond could feel the strangely reassuring heartbeat under his palm.

“I need you to breathe with me, okay?” An exaggerated breath was taken in the lungs of the chest Newt’s hand rested on. “Can you do that for me?” Another one. “Breathe when I breathe, it’ll get easier in a minute, I promise.”

Newt tried his best to match his breathing with the rising and falling of the body under his hand. The difficulty overtook him at first and he felt hot tears stinging his cheeks, but after probably two minutes, he was inhaling and exhaling exactly as his new acquaintance was.

“Good, there you go! You’re doing great, okay? You’re doing absolutely great.” The tone of voice being used seemed to reach out and wrap itself around Newt in a way that told him he was finally safe. “I’m Thomas. Can you tell me your name?” Thomas. Newt thought it fit him, as most names did their assigned people, though something shorter might fit better. _Tommy,_ he thought, but he said nothing of the sort.

“Newt. I- I’m Newt.” He was still breathing slightly heavily from his previous struggle for air. Though he could successfully take in sufficient gulps of oxygen now, Newt still felt the unholy weight of Gally’s words hanging on him. He inevitably broke down again, and as hard as he tried to will it away, a small sob racked his body. Thomas took immediate action.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s alright, c’mere.” Thomas dropped both of their hands from his chest and pulled Newt into him on a whim. Even though he wasn’t expecting the contact, Newt would be lying if he said he wasn’t ridiculously grateful for said contact. Newt clamped his arms around Thomas’ neck and cried into him. He came to realize the feeling of Thomas rubbing calming circles into his back with the hand that wasn’t wrapped tightly around his waist. Fifteen minutes ago Newt had been heading to the library, ten minutes ago he had wanted nothing more than to be anywhere other than where he was, and at that moment he was standing in a school bathroom hugging the life out of practically a complete stranger and sobbing like a little kid.

“It’s okay,” Thomas cooed reassurances repeatedly into Newt’s hair. “You’re okay, Newt. You’re safe, alright? I’ve got you, it’s okay.”

The two boys stood like that - wrapped around each other like they’d been friends their whole lives, though they had met not ten minutes earlier - for just longer than a full two minutes. Only then had Newt finally gained enough composure to pull away from Thomas and speak.

“I’m…” Newt ran a hand through his hair halfheartedly. “I’m sorry. For all of that. I could guess it’s not exactly the way you wanted to spend your first day at The Glade.” He chuckled a bit to himself, mostly out of embarrassment. It hadn’t taken him long to deduce that Thomas was, in fact, the new student, and he wasn’t anything like Newt had predicted so far. Newt still worried, though; there was plenty of time remaining for Thomas to turn on him. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“I don’t mind, really, I don’t. Let’s just say it was a hell of a welcome.” Thomas laughed, and Newt thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d heard all day.

“Your lip-” Before Newt had the time to fully think it over, he reached a hand out and ghosted his fingers over Thomas’ bottom lip. He quickly realised that his action may have been intrusive, though Thomas didn’t seem to be bothered by it - in fact, Thomas mimicked Newt’s motion, bringing his hand to cover Newt’s before a pink hue tinted the base of his neck and he dropped both of their hands swiftly. Newt was strangely disappointed by the lack of contact with Thomas - something about him captivated Newt in a way that seemed to leave Newt wanting more of the feeling of him.

“Don’t worry about it, Newt. It’s fine, I promise. I wasn’t just gonna stand there and let him harass you.” Thomas’ voice turned suddenly serious, acknowledging Newt’s guilt about Thomas getting hurt. Newt simply nodded in thanks - he wasn’t exactly sure of what to say. “Do you have a free period right now?”

Newt was mildly taken aback by the question, small talk not seeming fitting to the moment.

“Y-yeah. Why?”

“Let’s take a walk.”

“A walk?” Newt raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, a walk!” Thomas grinned. “So we can talk. I think I’d like to get to know you better, Newt. If that’s alright with you, of course.” He looked hopefully at Newt with surprisingly effective puppy dog eyes. The word that came to Newt’s mind was _adorable_ , but he quickly pushed the thought away.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Newt nodded, smiling.

So Newt allowed himself to be pulled lightly by the wrist by Thomas - out of the bathroom, out of the school.


	2. Chapter 2

The boys walked, their backs to the building made of dead aspirations and self hatred disguised as cracked bricks. The brisk October air breezed fluidly through Newt’s soft curls, and Newt swore he caught glimpses of Thomas staring at him from time to time.

“Can I ask you something?” Thomas questioned after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“You just did.” Newt countered, hoping it didn’t sound snarky.

“You know what I mean.” Thomas rolled his eyes, but a soft chuckle and a fond glance toward Newt told that he wasn’t genuinely annoyed.

“Yeah, go for it.”

“Who was that guy?” Thomas’ voice softened a bit, inferring from earlier events that the subject could be touchy for Newt.

“His name’s Gally.” Newt replied, words sounding more angered than forlorn, to his surprise as well as his companion’s. Thomas’ curiosity continued to drive the conversation, and Newt answered most of his questions, alarming himself at how quickly it seemed he had come to trust the new kid.

“Why’s he such a huge dick?”

“I reckon he’s compensating for the size of his own.”

“Does he attack you like that often?”

“Almost every day.”

“Why?”

“To hell if I know. It’s just the way things have always been. I’m an easy target and he needs to feel powerful, I guess. I try not to let it bother me - but, well, you saw how well that works out.” Newt snickered awkwardly, still feeling the vats of embarrassment pooling in his stomach and leaking through his skin onto his exterior. A strange quiet fell over the teenagers, interrupted only by their footsteps hitting the pavement of the sidewalk.

“I used to have one, too, y’know,” Thomas muttered, almost sacrificing his words to the soft wind, though Newt managed to hear him nonetheless. “Someone like Gally.”

“Oh?” Newt quirked an eyebrow, the statement startling him.

“Yeah. His name was Ben. Used to shove me around, call me crude things all the time because I was better than him at geometry. I was terrified of him.” Thomas looked down, shaking his head a bit at the memories.

“I’m sorry.” Newt consoled softly, the words seeming slightly empty in proximity to the confession, but it was all he could really think to say.

“Likewise.” Thomas shot Newt an oddly comforting sideways smile, as if to say _don’t worry, we’re both a little fucked._

The majority of the period had passed between the episode in the bathroom and the short walk the two boys had shared, so when they arrived back at the school neither one was surprised to see students beginning to trickle into the hallways. Once they had reached Newt’s locker - with Thomas earning a few strange glances on the way there, because when was the last time anyone had seen _Newt_ with a friend? - Thomas pulled out a crumpled schedule from his back pocket.

“Would you mind showing me to the chemistry classroom?” Thomas asked, frowning at the direction-lacking schedule.

“Oh - uh - no, not at all,” Newt stuttered, still taken aback slightly by how kind this practical stranger was being to him - he simply wasn’t used to it. “That’s actually on my way to the biology room. C’mon.”

Newt shut his locker and nodded his head in the direction he began walking, signalling for Thomas to follow him.

When they arrived at the chemistry room, Newt realized with a hitch in his gut that he would leave Thomas here and continue walking until he reached the biology room - where Gally would be, if he decided to show up to class. He was undoubtedly unprepared to face Gally alone after the earlier episode.

“Right, well, this is chemistry.” Newt rocked back on his heels awkwardly, unsure of how to end the interaction. “Try not to get on Mr. Elkins’ nerves too much, he gets nasty when he’s angry.”  

“Thanks, Newt.”

Newt turned to walk away, but Thomas caught him by the wrist and spun him back around before he could even take two steps.

“Hey - um - I’ll see you on the bus, yeah?” Thomas glanced at his shoes as if they were suddenly exceptionally interesting.

“Oh, sorry, no, actually. I walk home. I only live a few blocks away.” Newt said. He almost added _I don’t take the bus because Gally does,_ but decided against it quickly.

“I’ll walk with you then.” Thomas looked up hopefully. Newt nodded shyly, smiling slightly through the pink tint dusting his cheeks. Thomas returned the smile before turning to walk into the classroom behind him, not before shooting Newt a quick wave, however. Newt waved back, running a hand through his hair and sighing after Thomas had disappeared into the room. Honest befuddlement due to the events of the past hour draped over his mind, and he wondered why in the hell Thomas wanted to spend more time with him. Not that he was opposed at all - the idea of having a friend again lightened his chest - it had just been awhile since someone at school had been so nice to him. Especially on their first day. He pressed down upon the sense of rising affection, draining it from his chest until it dripped unsteadily into the depths of his ribcage. He had only just met Thomas, there was no way he was going to let himself get too emotionally invested in the brunet yet in case anything went wrong, as everything always seemed to for Newt.

Instead of dwelling too deeply on the possibilities of future chaos involving Thomas, Newt did the only thing left to do; he went to class.

He walked into the biology classroom with a slight sense of nervousness diffusing from his insides out, but that was a feeling he could almost never escape, so he didn’t think too much of it. The moment he stepped through the door he could feel Gally’s glare locked on him. He took the risk of making momentary eye contact with the bully, and he found a look that screamed _this isn’t over_ withheld upon Gally’s face.

He hurried to sit himself as far away from Gally as possible, which landed him next to a short senior named Aris. The seat turned out to be a bad decision as the class progressed, however, considering the way Gally kept looking towards them. His eyes glazed over with something like disgust as Newt intercepted his vision, though a glimmer of something indecipherable - yet certainly warmer - flashed across his face each time his gaze finally met Aris’. Eventually, the two of them asked to go the bathroom at alarmingly similar times and didn’t return for the rest of class. Newt almost laughed out loud at the irony - who would have thought _Gally,_ of all people, would have a secret boyfriend?

 

***

 

The rest of the day was somewhat easygoing to Newt, for which he was grateful. The next time he crossed paths with Gally was at lunch, but Thomas had sat with Newt - to the blond’s delight - so Gally hadn’t bothered harassing either of them when they were together.

It displeased Newt how few times throughout the day he and Thomas had classes together - only a study hall in the morning, lunch, and Pre Calculus in the afternoon. This only made him happier to see Thomas strolling over to Newt’s locker a few moments after the final bell had rung.

“Hi, Tommy.” Newt nodded in the direction of the approaching brunet as he gathered the last of his needed books for the night, the nickname falling off his tongue before he could stop it. Thomas looked momentarily surprised before laughing with a sort of fluidity that made Newt’s heart leap in his chest.

“What?” Newt asked weakly, suddenly more self-conscious than normal due to the unknown source of Thomas’ outburst.

“Nothing, it’s just - no one ever calls me Tommy anymore.” Thomas shook his head, the words quickly diminishing Newt’s worries.

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t-” Newt began, though Thomas cut him off.

“Nah, don’t worry. It sounds right when you say it. Maybe it’s the accent.” Thomas said the last part with a joking tone, but it was obvious he meant the rest.

“Well, let’s get going then, Tommy.” Newt snickered, and Thomas smiled at him warmly before they both turned and began to walk out of the school.

They had been walking for about five minutes when a thought suddenly occurred to Newt.

“Wait, where do you live? I just realized I could be taking you totally out of your way.” Newt asked, and Thomas thought for a moment about how to describe where his house was, considering how little he still knew about the town.

“My house is just across from the public library. It’s that sort of ugly yellow one.”

“Oh, okay. I wondered who had bought that house. It’s only about two blocks from where I live.”

“That’s convenient.” Thomas pointed out.

“Certainly.” Newt agreed.

The remainder of the walk was just under ten minutes. The teenagers alternated between comfortable silence, pleasant small talk, and phone number exchanges until they eventually reached Newt’s house. There was an awkward pause at the end of the driveway, neither boy knowing where to leave off, until Newt plucked up an extra ounce of courage and spoke.

“Do you want to come inside?” He asked with a surprising lack of waver in his voice, though he still held his breath as he awaited Thomas’ reply.

“I’d love to, Newt, I really would, but I promised my mom I’d look after Chuck today.” Thomas looked genuinely upset about being unable to stay, but it couldn’t keep the slump out of Newt’s shoulders.

“Chuck?” Newt asked curiously.

“My younger brother. He’s nearly 13, but my mom works late and she’s always worried about him so it’s easier for me to just appease her by babysitting him.” Thomas shrugged.

“Oh. That’s okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Newt teetered back and forth on his heels, unknowing as to why he was so nervous - of course he’d see Thomas tomorrow; it was a Thursday, they had school tomorrow.

“Yeah! I’ll - uh, I’ll meet you here in the morning? We can walk together again.” Thomas cracked a small sideways smile with the proposal, meeting Newt’s eyes warmly.

“Definitely.” Newt returned the smile, feeling his face heat up a bit. He turned to walk into his house with a small wave and a smile still on his face.

The moment he found himself through the front door he was greeted by an overly excited sister.

“Who was that?” She asked, enthusiasm almost cancelling out the sickly scratch in her voice.

“Just a friend. His name’s Thomas. He’s new.” Newt replied tentatively, wondering why his sister seemed so happy about the situation.

“You fancy him.” She declared, smirking.

“ _What?_ ” Newt almost choked on the word.

“You fancy him!”

“I’ve only just met him, of course I don’t bloody fancy him. What makes you say that?”

“When you walked through the door you were smiling.” She started, a grin of her own draping over her lips. “You’re never happy when you get home from school.”

“Piss off,” He mumbled before she could pry further into the subject, striding quickly up the stairs to his bedroom. He thought about his younger sister’s words and wondered if she was right - he was still unsure of how to classify the warm feeling he got in his chest when he was around Thomas, but he realized he had it then too, just from thinking about the brunet. He shook off the the thoughts of his new friend and started on his homework.


	3. Chapter 3

Gally hadn’t even spoken to him in almost a month when the trouble truly transpired for Newt. Ever since the day they had met, Newt and Thomas had spent every possible moment together - they sat with each other in their shared classes, they went to each other’s houses after school every day, and they talked on the phone into the early hours of almost every morning. Newt had thought Gally was leaving him alone because he was afraid of another encounter with Thomas - an encounter that questioned his strength. Newt was wrong, however, as he discovered on a particularly dark Saturday night in November.

Earlier that evening, Newt had gotten a text from Thomas, reading _“Hey, my mom’s working later than usual so I ordered a pizza and Chuck thinks I’m in love with you and won’t stop bugging me to invite you to a take out dinner. Wanna come over?”_ The message had caused Newt to laugh and shake his head, though a quick reply stating that he’d be over in ten minutes was sent.

Newt had some library books that needed returning, and he figured he’d kill two birds with one stone by dropping them off at the library on the way, considering how close it was to Thomas’ house. Newt lived on the opposite side of the library than Thomas did, so he approached the building from the back with four books in his arms and the intention of dropping them off in the after-hours return box located on the side of the brick perimeter.

To Newt’s displeasure, his intentions were unable to be followed through when a familiar voice sounded from behind him.

“Figured I’d find you here, pretty boy.” Gally’s tone breathed ice into the already cold air, sending an unpleasant shiver down Newt’s spine. However, since meeting Thomas, he’d learned that false confidence worked just as well as the real kind, so he fought hard to keep the waver out of his words whilst replying.

“Does Aris know you call me that?” He didn’t need to turn around to see Gally’s entire body tense stone-still. He did turn anyway, just to showcase the smirk held on his slightly trembling lips. False. All of it. He was scared out of his mind, but Gally couldn’t know that.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Gally snarled unattractively.

“You think I don’t know? I’ve had a secret boyfriend or two in my life, Gally. I can tell when I see it.” Newt knew he was stretching the truth a tad, but it added a new level to his act of toughness. He thought the act was the only thing keeping Gally from practically killing him, so he stood a little taller and tried to relax.

“So you really are a faggot, then, huh?” Gally said with a strange sense of triumph, stepping closer to the blond.

“Just as much as you are.”

Newt obviously didn’t like the term Gally had used very much, but somewhat retorting it back at him was worth it just for the look on the bully’s face - he’d gone completely pale.

“I swear to god, _you unwelcome fucking Limey,_ if you tell anyone I’ll-”

“I won’t. What are you even here for? I’m assuming you weren’t planning to read.”

Newt knew that eventually his mock cockiness would push Gally over the edge, and his boundaries were being seriously tested by interrupting Gally.

Before he even bothered to reply, Gally’s hands were once again gripping the shoulders of Newt’s favourite worn white hoodie and Newt’s back was slammed against the bricks, causing his books to clatter to the ground.

“I came because I needed to get you alone. I knew you would turn up around here at some point.” Gally spoke intimidatingly, and Newt’s heart rate sped up in fear. Any hope of maintaining his confidence act was diminishing rapidly.

“Why?” Newt swallowed dryly, hoping to take the anxiety down with it, though no such thing happened, and his hands started to shake.

“To finish what I started…” Gally smiled twistedly. “Uninterrupted this time.”

Newt had barely a moment to realize what Gally’s words meant before the pain came. It exploded from his cheekbone and stung throughout his entire skull. Once, twice, thrice in a row Gally’s knuckles crashed into the side of Newt’s face, agony erupting in his brain until he felt a slow trickle of warm blood drip from his cheek and down his jaw. Newt didn’t know when he’d fallen, but his back was pressed to the ground when Gally’s final blow hit him in the same spot, worsening the bloody gash.

“You’re not so tough now, are you?” Gally was squatting, hovering over Newt’s form on the pavement.

His fist met Newt’s face again, though this time Newt took a hit to the nose and he felt blood trickle over his top lip.

“Where’s your boyfriend now, huh? Thomas not here to save you again?” Gally laughed sickeningly.

“He’s not my…”

Before Newt even had time to realize protesting would get him nowhere, he was cut off by the sound of all the air leaving his lungs in one swift second as Gally picked him up by the sweatshirt and smashed his back against the brick wall once again. He was only being supported by Gally’s strength in his weakened state and he knew the moment his attacker let go of his shoulders, he would fall again.

An immense ache expanded throughout his entire body upon the contact of Gally’s knee to his stomach. He slumped in pain, unable to double over due to Gally’s iron hold pressing him to the library wall. Just when Newt thought the abuse was close to over for the night, Gally reached into his pocket, and what he pulled out doubled Newt’s fear the instant his eyes fell on it.

A pocket knife.

“G-Gally, wait! W-what the hell are y-”

“Oh, shut up, you worthless fag. I’m helping you.” Gally flicked the knife open and Newt genuinely began to fear for his life.

“H-helping me?” Newt gasped out with all the strength he could muster.

“I still think you should try again. I thought maybe this time you needed a different approach, since taking the high dive didn’t pay off,” Gally shifted his stance, turning sideways and using his entire forearm to keep Newt pinned to the wall. His cold fingers acquainted themselves with Newt’s arm, pulling up the sleeve of his sweatshirt and holding out his wrist. “I figured I’d give you a head start.”

The moment the words had left Gally’s lips, he took the edge of the blade to the skin of Newt’s wrist and slid it across. Not deeply enough to do any actual damage, but blood was still drawn upon contact. Newt cried out in anguish, trying pointlessly to wriggle out of Gally’s hold. It had been over a year since Newt had hurt himself in the way Gally was, and the scream was more from the memories than from the actual pain.

After leaving three thin, red lines on the surface of Newt’s wrist, Gally seemed satisfied enough with himself to drop his hold on Newt, and the blond hit the ground before he even comprehended that he’d been let go.

“You’re pathetic.” Gally spat one last insult before turning briskly and striding away. He walked as if nothing out of the ordinary had just occurred, and Newt wondered how he was able to brush off such a thing so quickly.

Newt coughed, an ache running through his whole being, reaching every nerve end and back again to his brain more times than seemed possible. He fumbled to sit himself up, propping his back against the wall and hanging his head from the effort. He knew what he needed to do.

He pulled out his phone, not wasting any time, and pressed the _Emergency_ button, taking him to a keypad of numbers. He quickly typed in Thomas’ number, which he was thankful he had committed to memory. He pressed the phone to his ear and waited.

It rang only twice before Thomas picked up.

“Hey, Newt! What’s up?” He asked chirpily.

“T-Tommy… I need your help.” Newt sighed, hoping he wasn’t getting blood on his phone.

“Are you okay?” Every ounce of upbeat nature vanished from Thomas’ voice instantly when he heard Newt’s obviously conflicted reply.

“No. It was Gally, he - he just - I was on my way to your house and he stopped me before I could do anything about it.”

“What happened?” Thomas’ words were laced heavily with concern and urgency.

“He- uh- he hurt me, Tommy. I think I need you to come get me.” Newt felt the first sting of hot tears wet his face as the weight of the situation forced itself onto him.

“Where are you?” Newt could already hear the rustling of material on the other end of the line as he assumed Thomas pulled his coat on.

“Behind the library.” Newt croaked.

“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in two minutes, okay? Just hang in there.” A door slamming could be detected through the phone.

Newt nodded - aware and uncaring that it couldn’t be seen - before hanging up the phone, slipping it back into his pocket, and waiting for Thomas’ arrival.

True to his word, Thomas’ footsteps could be heard hitting the concrete in only a few short minutes before he rounded the corner and his eyes fell on Newt.

The moment Thomas saw Newt, he gasped as if the breath had been vacuumed from his windpipe. Newt watched as he stumbled backwards a bit, something indecipherable finding home in his eyes at the sight of Newt bleeding and hunched over on the ground.

“Newt…” Thomas trailed, words evading him. He stepped briskly over to Newt and dropped to his knees, seeming unfazed by the scratch of the pavement on his jeans. He immediately brought a hand to Newt’s face, the pads of his fingers brushing over the drying blood on the blond’s cheek. His touch traveled downward, stroking Newt’s jaw sadly.

Newt mimicked him, moving his hand to fall over Thomas’. The action was remarkably similar to one Thomas had pulled on the first day they met, and the thought of it brought a small smile to Newt’s lips, despite the circumstances. Thomas was thinking the same thing, and he smiled back slightly, the sight of it sending a warmth through Newt even in the cold night air. They stared at each other for a few seconds too long. Newt could only imagine what kind of crude things Gally would call them if he could see them at that moment.

Thomas dropped his gaze eventually and his eyes landed on Newt’s opposite wrist - the wrist that was lined with blood. He gasped.

“Did Gally do this?” Thomas’ voice was barely above a shocked whisper.  

“Yeah…”

“He _pulled a fucking blade_ on you?” The whisper demolished itself with a surge of anger and Thomas stood up quickly, beginning to walk around mindlessly in distemper. “I’m gonna kill him, I swear to God.”

Newt reached weakly for Thomas’ arm and ended up catching him by the hand before he could do something ridiculously stupid.

“Tommy, save the anger for a time when you can actually use it, please. Right now I need you to help me.”

The look in Thomas’ eyes softened immediately upon hearing Newt’s words, and he gave the boy’s hand a small squeeze before replying.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just don’t understand how he could go that far.”

 _You don’t understand why he could go that far, either._ Newt thought.

“I know.” Newt said, looking down slightly; he didn’t know why he felt guilty about Thomas not knowing of the attempt last year.

“I should take you to a hospital.”

“No.” Newt stated surely. “Please don’t. I hate hospitals. I’ll be fine, really.”

“Are you sure?” Thomas asked apprehensively.

Newt nodded and began to stand up. Before his feet were even on the ground, Thomas had one arm under his knees and one arm around his upper back, picking him up bridal style.

“You’re ridiculous, Tommy. I’m not a bloody damsel in distress.” Newt rolled his eyes, though he wrapped his arms around Thomas’ neck anyway, as not to fall.

“Yes you are!” Thomas laughed, and Newt was glad he was attempting to lighten the mood of the dark situation.

“Shut up,” Newt chuckled fondly. He tried to joke off Thomas’ action, but he couldn’t deny that as soon as he was in Thomas’ arms, it seemed as though the pain began to dull, like the boy was novocaine to Newt. He leaned his head into Thomas’ chest until they were back at the brunet’s house.


	4. Chapter 4

When they arrived a few minutes later at Thomas’ doorstep, an eager looking Chuck opened the door quickly. The young boy scanned over the pair of them - Newt bloody and bruised, curled up in the arms of a still very worried looking Thomas - and he seemed unable to come up with a possible explanation.

“What the hell happened to your boyfriend?”

Thomas sighed at Chuck’s remark, the base of his neck beginning to tint pink. Newt, on the other hand, thought the question was hilarious, and he unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh into Thomas’ shirt. He realized it was the second time that night that someone had addressed him and Thomas as boyfriends, which only increased his laughter.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Thomas rolled his eyes, ignoring Chuck momentarily by stepping through the doorway and starting to make his way up the stairs.

“Sorry about that…” Thomas mumbled as he reached the top step, turning down a long hallway.

“Are you kidding? That was bloody adorable.” Newt said, laughing a little again. Thomas smiled down at Newt, glad the blond didn’t find it weird that Chuck thought they were dating. He turned to the right and stepped into what Newt knew to be the bathroom. After he’d flicked the light on, he released Newt, placing him on the flat surface around the sink. Newt let his legs dangle from the counter and rest against the drawers below. Thomas rummaged through the medicine cabinet until he pulled out an array of miscellaneous bottles and he grabbed a washcloth from the towel rack.

Newt watched as Thomas pumped a small amount of soap onto the cloth before running it under a stream of cold water. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall, fatigue settling into his body. A few seconds passed before he felt the cold sting of the water against his face. Thomas swiped the cloth across the skin above Newt’s upper lip, taking the blood off that had dripped previously from his nose.

Newt opened his eyes again when he felt Thomas press two fingers into either side of his nose, pushing in three varying places.

“It doesn’t feel like your nose is broken, which is a positive.” Thomas mumbled, almost looking as if he were about to reach for a medical clipboard and jot down his conclusion.

“I never thought I’d be so glad that your mum’s a nurse.” Newt laughed softly, wondering how many times in his life Thomas had seen his mother patch someone up in a similar fashion to the way he was taking care of Newt.

“It’s pretty convenient, yeah?” Thomas smiled. Newt blushed a light pink under Thomas’ words. The latter boy glanced tentatively at Newt, speaking silently with eyes before dusting his fingers under the blond’s wrist in a grasp. He brought the cloth to the small wounds, wincing at the sight of the blood smearing up Newt’s forearm.

“I’m sorry,” Thomas sighed, attempting to mop up the blood completely.

“ ‘S okay, Tommy.” Newt smiled sadly, not seeing what the problem was with the expansion of the red liquid during the cleaning process.

“No.” Thomas shook his head. “I mean I’m sorry he did this to you. I’m sorry I let him hurt you again.” He averted his eyes from Newt’s gaze. He looked... _Ashamed? Guilty?_ Newt couldn’t tell.

“Hey,” Newt brought a finger underneath Thomas’ chin, lifting the brunet’s eyes to lock with his own. “It wasn’t your fault, love. You had no way of knowing that any of this would happen.”

Thomas simpered softly, busying himself with continuing to wipe the blood off of Newt’s wrist until the knife drawn lines were dry against his pale skin. He pulled his attention back to Newt’s face when he was satisfied with the state of Newt’s arm.

The cold water brought a wince to Newt’s face as it pressed against the clotting blood in the wound on his cheek. Thomas cleaned the gash carefully, paying more attention to it than the other injuries, considering its state was worse in comparison to them. After clearing the cut of blood, he dabbed hydrogen peroxide on the skin surrounding it and sprayed Neosporin directly into it, causing Newt to intake a sharp breath, his nose scrunching as he tried to suppress an embarrassingly displeased noise. Thomas mumbled an apology - something mildly inaudible about wanting to make sure it didn’t get infected - before unwrapping a beige band-aid and sticking it over the cut securely. His thumb lingered on Newt’s cheekbone, stroking softly back and forth in a way that made Newt’s stomach flutter.

“You okay?” Thomas asked, a look of concern etched into his amber eyes. Newt nodded, trying to withhold the intensity lingering between him and Thomas as they stared at each other.

“Thank you,”

Thomas trailed his fingertips down the side of Newt’s face, resting his hand on the blond’s jaw. His gaze darted from Newt’s eyes to his lips momentarily, before returning to hold Newt’s stare. Newt swore his heart threatened to beat out of his chest when Thomas moved closer; close enough for his breath to be felt against Newt’s skin.

Newt’s pulse jumped to a dangerous speed when Thomas’ eyes fell closed and the reality of what was happening dawned on him. He let his eyelids flutter over his vision, engulfing his previous view in a sea of awaiting black.

A small gasp left Newt as Thomas delicately pressed their lips together. It was as if all the air had left Newt’s lungs, all the blood had been drained from his veins, all the thoughts had trickled from his head; everything poured out of him until he became lost in nothing but Thomas _Thomas **Thomas**_. He kissed back, only hard enough for Thomas to know the feelings in the air were mutual. Both boys seemed to be testing their boundaries. Unfortunately, unwantedly, _inevitably,_ Thomas broke off after only a few seconds longer. When Newt opened his eyes, the brunet was redder in the face than Newt had ever seen him, and he was staring at the ground as if it was suddenly the most enthralling thing on the planet.

“Newt, I-” Thomas started something that sounded dangerously close to being an apology, and Newt cut him off before three syllables could leave his tongue.

“Do that again.”

“What?”

“Kiss me again.” 

In one swift movement, Thomas’ hands were on Newt’s waist and their mouths were colliding once more. It was hard and sweet and absolutely _blissful_ , and Newt snaked his hands around the back of Thomas’ neck, dizzy with the feeling of finally kissing him. Newt’s fingers lightly carded through Thomas’ hair - a feeling they both enjoyed immensely.

Just as Newt was about to reluctantly pull back for air, a voice from the hallway startled the two.

“ _Not my boyfriend,_ he says. Yeah, right.” Chuck laughed, walking past the open bathroom door, having observed the scene within. Thomas and Newt couldn’t have detached from each other fast enough, and Chuck merely raised a suggestive eyebrow whilst continuing down the hallway.

“I really hate that kid sometimes.” Thomas shook his head, trying and failing to suppress the dark blush painting his cheeks. Newt laughed quietly, looking down to hide the shade of pink on his own face. Thomas took a precarious step towards Newt again, opening and closing his mouth a few times - as if beginning to speak, though deciding quickly against it. After two more awkwardly failed attempts to talk, Newt rolled his eyes fondly and filled the silence instead.

“Spit it out, Tommy,” He laughed to cover his shockwave nerves, darting a hand out cautiously to coax Thomas nearer. The brunet blushed, lightly placing his hand in Newt’s and allowing himself to be pulled closer to the boy sitting on the counter.

“It’s just- do you- uh-” Thomas shook his head. “Do you want to be?”

“Want to be what?” Newt knit his eyebrows together.

“M-My boyfriend.”

Thomas’ eyes desperately searched Newt’s face, as if he was trying to gauge the blond’s reaction. Newt stared back at him with surprise laced over his features, not expecting the question - nor the nervousness whilst asking it - from Thomas. Sure the boy had just kissed Newt, and they’d spent the past month practically glued to each other’s sides, but the idea of someone wanting to be with Newt was somewhat new to him. Especially someone like Thomas; someone so beautiful, someone so benevolent, someone so smart, someone so remarkably _perfect_. The idea was so new, in fact, that it left Newt momentarily speechless. He snapped himself back into reality with a glance to Thomas’ face, which looked absolutely riddled with fear of what Newt would say. The look was so out of character, for Thomas was usually the confident one of the pair, and Newt wondered how _he_ , of all people, could have that effect on the brunet.

“Yeah, Tommy,” Newt gave Thomas’ hand a small squeeze and smiled. “I’d love that.”

All of the anxiety, all of the apprehensiveness, all of the inhibitions drained from Thomas’ face the moment Newt’s words hit his ears. He returned the squeeze in Newt’s hand, and sighed happily.

“Oh, thank fuck,” Thomas pressed his forehead to Newt’s and closed his eyes, the grin not leaving his face. Newt chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling cutely through his laugh. Newt dropped his hand from Thomas’ only to bring it to the back of the other boy’s neck, dusting his fingers through the rich brown hair there.

“Hey, Tommy?” Newt asked, peering contentedly into Thomas’ eyes.

“Hmm?”

“Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to worry my mum and I’m too tired to cover any of this shit properly right now.”

“Of course, Newt.” Thomas dipped his hands around Newt, palms landing warmly on the small of the blond’s back.

“Thank you,” Newt sighed in relief, bringing his face to the crook of Thomas’ neck just because he could. Thomas tried to push away wonderings of why and how Newt knew how to cover up such injuries by kissing the blond’s hair softly before the boys sat in silence for a few moments.

“Sorry to interrupt again, but could you guys go be ridiculously gay somewhere else? I need to shower.” Chuck smirked, only half annoyed, leaning his side against the doorframe of the bathroom.

 _“For fuck’s sake, Charles.”_ Thomas grumbled, thoroughly fed up with Chuck’s taunting.

“Don’t call me Charles.” Chuck crossed his arms defensively.

“Don’t intrude on my life so much.”

“It’s not my fault you’re kissing Newt in the bathroom when I need to shower.”

“Oh, quit your bickering. Let the kid shower!” Newt said with mock scolding, though the effect of it was washed out by the bubbly laugh he let out at the brothers’ antics.

“You should probably listen to your boyfriend.” Chuck nodded.

“I hate you.” Thomas joked at his brother, not denying what the younger one had said because it was no longer untrue. Thomas smiled as he seemed to note that knowledge. Newt smiled back, telling with his eyes that he was thinking the same thing.

“C’mon, Tommy,” Newt shook his head with a laugh, sliding off the counter to pull Thomas by the hand and lead him towards the door.

 _“Tommy?”_ Chuck waggled his eyebrows, knowing that Thomas only let very special people call him by the nickname - he even hated it when Chuck called him that. With Newt it felt right, though, as if the shortened name was a locked door and Newt’s voice was the key.

“You’re pushing it, _Charles._ ” Thomas lightly punched Chuck’s arm as he exited the bathroom, allowing Newt to pull him completely out of the door in order for Chuck to shut it. The boys in the hallway heard water running almost immediately after they left.

“There’s probably some pizza left if you don’t mind it cold. You hungry?” Thomas asked, sliding his fingers into the slots between Newt’s.

“That sounds good.” Newt nodded, and they walked down the stairs contentedly.

 

***

 

 _“Gally?”_ Thomas almost toppled off the couch in surprise, staring down at Newt with shocked eyes.

“Gally! He’s totally shagging Aris Jones!” Newt exclaimed enthusiastically.

“That really short senior with the pointy nose and the shitty haircut?”

“The very one.”

“Gally could _destroy_ that kid, what the fuck?” Thomas gaped, intaking the information. He adjusted his hold across Newt’s shoulders, still recovering from nearly falling off the shared couch upon initially hearing the news.

“I know, right?” Newt leaned back into Thomas’ side, laughing. “I don’t know if they’re actually together or if they’re just fuck buddies, but trust me, it’s a _thing_.”

“Gally,” Thomas said again, shaking his head in disbelief. “I never would’ve guessed.”

Newt hummed in agreement, pulling the blanket higher up onto himself and snuggling further into Thomas’ chest for heat. Before long, a mixture of the fatigue from his encounter with Gally and the rhythm that Thomas had established by rubbing calming patterns into his side began to make Newt unbearably drowsy. He allowed his eyes to fall closed, a small smile prying at his lips as he dozed off. The last thing he heard was a hushed conversation between Thomas and Chuck, the latter of whom must have come downstairs at some point without Newt hearing.

_“Stop looking at him while he sleeps, it’s creepy.”_

_“It is not creepy, Charles.”_

_“Stop calling me that! You’re a creep!”_

_“I’m not a creep! He just looks really cute when he’s asleep.”_

_“You’re right, maybe you aren’t a creep. Maybe you’re just a huge fucking sap.”_

_“Mom doesn’t like it when you swear.”_

_“Is mom here right now?”_

_“Go away, Chuck.”_

_“Fine, I’ll leave you to creepily stare at your unconscious boyfriend. ‘Night!”_

Newt’s smile grew, and all it took was a small squeeze around his torso and a kiss to his hair from Thomas before he let the brunet’s heartbeat lull him into real sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Newt awoke alone in Thomas’ bed. He sat up slowly, yawning and stretching his arms over his head. With a quick glance at his phone that sat on the bedside table, he checked the time; 10:34 AM. He didn’t remember going upstairs the night before, but he assumed Thomas had gotten tired and brought the pair to his room sometime after Newt had fallen asleep. He also assumed that he’d been hazily awake at some point, noting that his previously worn skinny jeans were replaced by what appeared to be a pair of Thomas’ sweatpants, yet figuring he must have been the one to change them - he didn’t sleep heavily enough for Thomas to have been able to change his clothes for him.

Newt gathered himself out of bed, wishing he had a toothbrush though not daring to use any at Thomas’ house because that was just plain unsanitary. He simply hoped his morning breath wasn’t too bad and began descending the stairs.

“Hey, Tommy,” He mumbled tiredly, shuffling into the kitchen to find Thomas - dressed in plaid pajama pants and a grey pullover - hovered over the stove.

“Oh, hey, Newt!” Thomas clicked the burners off, turning half way to smile at the blond. “I was just gonna come get you. I made breakfast.”

“Thanks,” Newt returned the smile as Thomas retrieved two plates from the cupboard, filling them both with the scrambled eggs and bacon from the stove before handing one to Newt and sitting down across from him at the island counter. Newt happily accepted the food, eager to rid himself of the hungry itch in the pit of his stomach.

“Did you sleep well?” Thomas asked, half to break the silence and half to hear Newt’s voice more.

“Yeah, I did.” Newt nodded. “And yourself?”

“Likewise.” Thomas stated. It was a short conversation, for they both returned to their food rather quickly, but the air wasn’t awkward. They were perfectly happy simply being in each other’s company.

After probably three more minutes of comfortable silence, Thomas stood and cleared their dishes, leaving them in the sink before hopping to sit on the island in front of Newt.

“Tommy?” Newt mumbled after a moment, lazily resting his head on Thomas’ knee.

“Hmm?” Thomas looked down at the blond, brushing his sandy hair back from his face softly as to see him clearer. Newt’s mouth tugged into an involuntary smile at the gesture.

“I think I should go home soon.”  

“Oh, okay,” Thomas tried to catch the fall in his face before Newt saw it.

“I- I don’t mean I’m eager to leave or anything,” Newt stumbled quickly, noticing Thomas’ sudden disappointment anyway. “I just mean my sister’s probably worried about me, which means I should probably clean myself up a bit so she doesn’t think anything bad actually happened.”

“You’re not gonna tell her? Or your mom?” Thomas frowned.

“Nah, I’d rather not worry them more.”

“Newt, you do realize you could literally press harassment charges against Gally, right? What he did doesn’t have to be brushed off so easily.” Thomas tried, establishing a rhythm with his fingertips simply because he liked the feeling of Newt’s hair under his hand.

“I know Gally. Trust me, the police is the last thing I want to bring into this situation.” Newt shook his head halfheartedly.

“If you say so.” Thomas shrugged.

“I do.” Newt sat up properly again, nodding at Thomas as the brunet’s hand fell back into his lap. “Come help me cover this shit?”

 

***

 

As it turned out, _“Come help me cover this shit?”_ had just meant _“Come sit on the sink and keep me company whilst I clean myself up?”_ but Thomas didn’t seem to mind. The boys chatted casually for all of ten minutes - time during which Newt blended the cuts and bruises on his skin using Thomas’ mom’s makeup in a way that was almost expert, for he’d done the act time and time again. Thomas looked worried as he watched Newt. The blond could see a hundred questions buzzing behind Thomas’ eyes, but none of them were spoken. Once Newt had successfully managed to make it look like the encounter with Gally had never happened (aside from the bandage on his cheek, which he shrugged off with a false excuse of clumsiness to use on his family), he changed back into his own clothes from the day before and snatched his phone off of Thomas’ bedside table.

“Ready?” Thomas asked when Newt emerged from his bedroom, slinging a light jacket over his shoulders.

“You’re walking me home, then?” Newt asked.

“That okay?”

“ ‘Course,”

They were out the door in a matter of minutes. The crisp morning air bit at their faces like wolves, but just being with each other sent a contradictory warmth throughout both of them. It was only the beginning of November, so snow was yet to dust the ground, but the temperature suggested it would soon. In a few minutes, the pair came to a halt in front of Newt’s house. It felt pleasantly similar to the first time Thomas had walked Newt home after the day they first met - both unknowing of how to end the encounter - and it caused them both to laugh quietly at how far it seemed they hadn’t come in a month in terms of goodbyes.

“I guess I’ll - uh - I’ll see you here tomorrow again?” Thomas simpered.

“For sure,” Newt nodded. “And Tommy?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For everything.” He looked sincerely at Thomas, hoping to convey with his eyes how much he truly meant the statement; he didn’t know what he would have done the night before without Thomas.

“Anytime,” Thomas nodded. Newt would have left it at that, but Thomas looked strangely unfinished with the moment. Just as Newt was about to question him about it, the brunet opened his mouth to speak again, oddly more nervous than previously. “Newt?”

“Hmm?” Newt raised an eyebrow, sensing that Thomas was stalling for something important - at least to him.

“C-Can I kiss you goodbye?” Thomas blurted sheepishly.

“Of course,” Newt chuckled.

The words had barely left his lips when Thomas smiled and dusted a hand over Newt’s cheek before pressing his mouth slowly against the blond’s. It felt just as good as the first, as the second, and Newt found himself thinking he could really get used to the feeling.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Thomas smiled shyly after breaking away. Newt nodded warmly, a grin etching onto his face as well as he turned to walk inside. Thomas stuffed his hands in his pockets for warmth and began walking the opposite way with one last adorable glance at Newt.

As it turned out when Newt walked through his front door, his sister was awake and very aware of what had just happened.

“You just kissed Thomas!” She was on him the moment he stepped into the house, bouncing around like it was Christmas.

On most occasions, he would have shaken her off and teased her for being so excited, but this wasn’t most occasions. This was Thomas, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t just as happy as her about the recent development in his and Thomas’ relationship. He didn’t even feel the need to question why she was watching his return home, because he was honestly used to her being somewhat intrusive.

“I know!” He laughed back, smiling widely both at the truth of his sister’s statement and her happiness on the matter.

“Does that mean he’s like… your boyfriend now?” She asked hopefully. Newt just nodded, the grin not leaving his teeth. She made a noise resembling a squeal before standing on her tiptoes in order to clasp her hands around Newt’s neck. He hugged her back, causing her feet to lift from the floor momentarily due to the height difference. “I’m really happy for you, Newtie,” she whispered, voice turning slightly more serious than before. “Thomas is a good guy. You deserve someone like him.”

Newt smiled again, releasing the hug in order to look at the girl.

“Thanks, sis.” He nodded, for as annoying and invasive as she was, he knew his sister wanted him to be happy, and they both knew he would be with Thomas.


	6. Chapter 6

Three weeks later, Newt needed a day off. Between the rapidly rising amount of homework to complete before the holidays, the ever increasing level of intimidation from Gally, and the generally dangerous realm of Newt’s own mind, the boy was simply exhausted. Being with Thomas had been nothing but wonderful, but even the thought of seeing him was unable to drag Newt out of bed that Friday morning. For once in what felt like much too long, Newt shut off his alarm at 6:00 AM, rolled back over onto his opposite side, and went directly back to sleep.

 

***

 

Newt awoke again about four hours later, still feeling exceptionally unmotivated, though having energy enough to pull himself out of bed in order to make tea. He trudged down the stairs in sleep-worn pajama pants and a flannel he’d thrown on to fight the December air leaking into the house. Snow had begun to dust the ground, but it wasn’t enough to make much of an impact yet.

He put the kettle on its burner and began busying himself with locating his favourite teabags before his phone started vibrating loudly on the counter. He picked up immediately upon reading the contact name and seeing the photo that accompanied it.

“Tommy?”

“Newt! Where are you?” Thomas asked, sounding on the brink of worry.

“I’m at home.” Newt answered tiredly, searching for a mug as the kettle whistled, signalling that the water was properly boiled.

“Are you okay?” Thomas’ voice passed into the realm of concern at Newt’s somewhat flat tone.

“Not really,” Newt sighed truthfully. “Just needed a mental health day.”

He found a clean mug, poured the steaming water into it, and set the teabag below the surface before speaking again when Thomas didn’t immediately reply.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” He asked knowingly, taking his tea and beginning to ascend back to his bedroom.

“Technically, yes.” Thomas chuckled a bit, the sound bringing an instant smile to Newt’s lips. “Wanted to make sure you were okay, though.” He added sincerely.

“I’ll be fine, love.” Newt could practically hear the way Thomas beamed at the pet name, even through the phone. “You, on the other hand, need to get back to class before I get you told off.”

Thomas laughed cutely at Newt’s tone of mock scolding. “Okay, okay, fine. I’ll come over after school, yeah?”

“Can’t wait.” Newt nodded, though realizing the action was pointless when he remembered Thomas couldn’t see him.

“Bye, Newt. See you soon.”

“Bye, Tommy.”

Just as he said, Thomas showed up at Newt’s door no less than 15 minutes after school let out. He had evidently walked there with Newt’s sister, as they came through the front door together, talking like old friends.

“Newt! Thomas is here!” His sister yelled after discarding her backpack halfheartedly.

“Just send him upstairs, I’m in my room!” Newt yelled back, eager to finish the current page he was on in his rereading of the fourth Harry Potter book.

After a moment, he heard footsteps skipping up the stairs, and before long, Thomas knocked lightly, pushing the door open slowly after Newt hummed in response.

“ _Goblet of Fire?_ Again?” Thomas laughed upon seeing the book in Newt’s hands.

“Shut up, you know it’s my favourite!” The smile that stretched across Newt’s lips cancelled out the defensive edge in his voice as he reached the end of a page, bookmarking it before setting it on the bedside table.

“I know.” Thomas shook his head, closing the door again behind him and dropping his backpack near the foot of Newt’s bed. “I also know it’s the one you read when you’re sadder than normal. What’s up?” He asked, concern tinting the outline of his words as he threw himself onto Newt’s king sized bed, batting Newt’s knee playfully with his own as not to bring the mood in the air down further.

“ ‘M just tired, Tommy.” Newt mumbled, taking Thomas’ newfound proximity into account by letting his head fall onto the brunet’s shoulder. Thomas slung an arm around Newt’s waist to pull him closer.

“ _Didn’t sleep enough_ tired or _life in general exhausts me_ tired?”

“Bit of both.” Newt sighed, melting into Thomas’ touch.

“Can I help?” Thomas asked into Newt’s hair.

“You can kiss me ‘till my lips are numb,” Newt smirked. “That’d probably help.”

“Yeah,” Thomas laughed. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Wasting no time, Thomas leaned his head down at an expert angle, catching Newt’s mouth in a kiss. Newt sighed softly into the contact, sitting up more in order to increase the ease of the kiss. Thomas’ hold on the blond’s waist remained unfaltering, the pads of his fingertips pressing into Newt’s skin where the hem of his flannel had ridden up. Newt snaked his arm around the back of Thomas’ neck, dragging his fingers softly through the brunet’s hair. Thomas’ lips were wind-chapped and dry, yet they still tasted like velvet under Newt’s tongue.

Somewhat predictably, it was only a matter of moments before the boys were interrupted, as they often were, by a younger sibling.

Newt’s sister came bursting through the door, - without knocking - causing Newt and Thomas to break apart startledly.

“Okay, that was disgusting.” The young girl spoke casually, her nose crinkling at the sight. Thomas chuckled at her reaction. “Anyways, mum just called. She wants to know if Thomas is staying over tonight.”

Newt looked up at Thomas, asking with his eyes what his sister had just implied. Thomas gave him a small nod, his slightly kiss swollen lips tilting upwards into a smile.

“Yeah, he is.” Newt confirmed to his sister.

“Alright. Continue… whatever you were doing.” She remarked, trotting out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

“You don’t have to watch Chuck tonight?” Newt inquired, happy yet quizzical that Thomas was able to spend the night.

“Nah, he’s at a birthday party until tomorrow. I’m all yours tonight.” Thomas grinned cheekily.

“You always are.” Newt mumbled before pulling the brunet down for another kiss.

  
  


***

  
  


After an afternoon of lazy kisses, cuddles, and even a bit of homework, Newt and Thomas returned to their spot in Newt’s bedroom after a downstairs detour for dinner. Newt sat tiredly on the edge of his bed, allowing soft tufts of his blond curls to fall over his eyes. Thomas, however, did not take his normal perch next to his boyfriend. Instead, he walked to Newt’s desk in the corner of the room, slipping his phone out of his pocket and plugging it into Newt’s speaker.

Moments later, music started emanating softly from the corner of Newt’s bedroom. He instantly recognized the song as _No. 1 Party Anthem_ by Arctic Monkeys. Thomas smiled in a seemingly involuntary way upon hearing the song - it was one of his favourites and he looked as if he had a wonderful plan for it.

He strode fluidly back to Newt’s bed, standing in front of the blond and holding his hand out expectantly. Newt just cocked an eyebrow in confusion, not yet catching on to the plan Thomas indeed had. Thomas rolled his eyes in mock annoyance, a cute smile spreading over his face nonetheless.

“Dance with me, Newt.”

A blush rose to Newt’s cheeks due to his boyfriend’s unexpected act of romance. He nodded softly, placing his hand in Thomas’ open one and allowing Thomas to pull him to his feet. His arms slid behind Thomas’ neck whilst the brunet rested his hands over Newt’s waist. It wasn’t much of real dancing; mostly they just swayed back and forth contentedly, feet occasionally readjusting as the music moved them. Thomas rested his head in the space where Newt’s neck met his shoulder, softly pressing innocent kisses to Newt’s blush-warmed skin there whenever he felt compelled to do so. Newt smiled at the feeling each time, the sparks flying over his neck becoming contrastingly calming. He found serenity in the symphonies of Thomas’ even breaths dispersing throughout the soothing sounds of the song still pulsing from his speakers.

The warmth of Thomas’ breath on his neck in combination with the feeling of Thomas’ fingertips tracing soft circles into his sides made Newt feel a strange sort of happy - something he hadn’t _really_ felt in a while. He wished the moment could last for an eternity.

His eternity, however, somewhat ended when the song did. The album continued orderly, leaving _Mad Sounds_ to begin its radiation from the sound system. The tempo of the new song remained slow enough for them to continue swaying slightly to the first few measures, until Thomas pulled away the smallest bit to look at Newt. The blond matched his gaze, the movement ceasing under the intensity of the newly established stare. There was something trusting in Thomas’ eyes - something soft and inviting - and Newt suddenly wanted to tell him _everything_.

“Tommy,” He began, trailing his hands from behind Thomas’ neck to the brunet’s own, slotting their fingers together momentarily. His eyes found a discarded yet heavy sweatshirt lying near the bed, and he broke away from Thomas in order to pick it up. “Put this on.” He threw the sweatshirt in Thomas’ general direction, hoping it would be caught, before turning to his dresser and pulling out his favourite white hoodie, slipping it over his head.

“What for?” Thomas asked, even though he was already halfway in the sweatshirt.

“Jus’ wanna talk.” Newt replied.

“Talking requires heavier clothing now?”

“When it’s on the bloody roof it does.”

Newt didn’t allow much time for the confused look to linger on Thomas’ face before grabbing his hand and pulling them both quickly towards the window. Newt’s bedroom was conveniently placed in a spot at which the roof met the house and accessibility was easy to achieve. Once Newt had opened the window, he pulled his worn sleeves farther down over his fingers and climbed swiftly through the window. Thomas’ efforts to escape the house were admittedly much less graceful, though successful nonetheless, and he clammered to sit next to Newt after shutting the window in order to keep the cold out of the room from which they came.

They assumed their usual position - Newt’s head resting on Thomas’ shoulder whilst Thomas’ arm was draped across Newt’s waist. Stars hung thickly in the black night sky, their beauty seemingly unmatchable, though all Thomas was looking at was Newt. Newt couldn’t meet his gaze due to the angle they sat at, but he could feel the stare on him. It made his chest feel warm, even against the brisk winter air.

“What’d you wanna talk about, babe?” Thomas asked after a few moments of silence, remembering Newt’s initial reasoning for their excursion.

“Me.” Newt said, and then he laughed a little bit because of how arrogant it sounded.

“I could do _that_ all day.” Thomas smiled, kissing Newt’s hair softly.

“I mean me… before you met me.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Newt sighed. “There are just some things I think you should know at this point.”

Newt shifted back a bit to look at his boyfriend. Thomas’ arm fell from his waist as he pulled away, but the contact was soon renewed when Newt took that hand in his own, entwining their fingers.

“Alright.” Thomas said, a hint of nervousness tinting the edges of his tone.

“If it’s too much just stop me, okay? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Newt squeezed Thomas’ hand cautiously, seeing the concern expanding across the brunet’s face. When Thomas’ only reply was a nod and a return in the squeeze of Newt’s hand, Newt took a shaky breath and began his story.

“I’m gonna start this off by saying I’m not a very happy person, though I’m sure you already know that much. Believe it or not, I used to be even more unhappy. Gally used to be more mean, too. I think I’ve gotten somewhat better at dealing with it all now, but last year I reached something like a breaking point. I- uh- I’m just gonna rip the bandaid off here, ‘kay?” Newt closed his eyes as he spoke his next words.

“I tried to kill myself, Tommy.”

The small gasp that left Thomas’ lips upon hearing such news sent Newt scrunching his eyes shut even tighter; he really didn’t intend to hurt Thomas, he just wanted him to know.

“Hey, it’s okay, Newt.” Thomas spoke gently, rubbing his thumb over Newt’s knuckles in a way that was nothing shy of loving. “You don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

Newt shook his head at that, opening his eyes and sniffling.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m fine.” Newt nodded to himself, the look in Thomas’ eyes willing him to continue, willing him to be able to let Thomas help him.

“It was last year over April break. My mom took my sister and I out to a strange type of resort not too far from here. Had a water park and everything. The hotel was only three stories tall. I thought it would be enough.” He looked down, eyes watering. Thomas didn’t seem to get it yet. “Do you remember what Gally and his friends were chanting on the day you first met me?”

A look of realization passed over Thomas’ features, shifting into one of horror the moment he comprehended the meaning of Newt’s question.

 _“Jump again.”_ Thomas nearly almost choked on the words, his voice no higher than a whisper. “Did you…?” He trailed, unable to bring himself to finish the sentence, but Newt got it and nodded solemnly, not wanting to say the exact words either.

“I found a door to the roof of the hotel on our third night there. I’d been thinking about it for a while before then, I just didn’t know how until that night. Guns scared me and I didn’t trust blades. I’d always kind of liked the feeling of falling anyway. I figured it would be the easiest approach.” Newt paused, inhaling and exhaling once, shaking. “My sister woke up to get a drink and she found the note I’d left. She got my mom up and called an ambulance. I was unconscious when they found me, but obviously alive. I landed wrong, ended up fucking my leg up pretty badly. I still have a bit of a limp from it. I was unresponsive, though. My family thought I was dead. I hate it so much, knowing that I put them through that. It was selfish. I was just so hopeless.” He stopped again to shake his head sadly. “I wish I could say that was the worst of it, but after a week in the hospital, I went back to school. Gally was pretty unfazed by the entire ordeal - he just used it as one more thing to bully me about quite honestly. He got practically the whole school to call me _Suicide Boy_ for a month. It was awful, all of it.”

By the time Newt finished talking, both boys had tears brimming in their eyes.

“Newt...” Thomas let any hope of a sentence die in his throat, unknowing of what to say, even what to think.

“I’m sorry, Tommy,” Newt sniffled. He continued talking before Thomas had half the chance to tell him he had nothing to apologize for. “I didn’t tell you all this to upset you or anything. It’s kind of become a part of me, I guess. I just- I just thought you should know.” He concluded, looking down as the first droplets of moisture spilled from his eyes. As always, Thomas took immediate action on the matter.

“Hey, look at me,” Thomas prodded, bringing a hand softly to Newt’s cheek, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears falling there. Newt obligingly met his reassuring gaze. “Thank you for telling me.”

The sincerity in Thomas’ tone diminished any and all of Newt’s worries at that moment. So much so that he raised a hand to delicately place over Thomas’, which still rested on his face. A shockingly affectionate smile spread across the brunet’s face at the action, both teenagers remembering the all too similar moments during which the same gesture had been made by one of them; in the bathroom on the day they met and behind the library on the night they became _them_. Newt smiled back at him, knowing this night too marked a milestone in their relationship.

Newt dropped both of their hands from his face, lacing their fingers together before leaning in to kiss Thomas swiftly. The contact was somewhat short, but it tasted of sweetness and trust and something that felt a whole lot like love.

Thomas smiled at Newt again after they pulled away, using their connected hands to tug Newt’s arm lightly, signalling for him to come closer. Newt understood, folding himself back into Thomas’ half embrace as the boy wrapped his free arm around Newt’s waist. Newt let his head fall once again onto his boyfriend’s shoulder, sighing at the weight that had been lifted off his own.

Newt felt something surge in his chest - something indescribable yet somehow simultaneously unmistakable. He was afraid to admit it out loud then due to fear of all the possible outcomes, but he knew. The brisk December air swirled around the two boys, but the company of each other kept out the cold. With the warmth of Thomas pressed against his side, Newt knew he was falling in love on a rooftop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the end!! Thank you so much if you read it all the way through, I've been working on this fic for a really long time and I'm very proud of the outcome. I hope you enjoyed it :)


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